I couldn't sleep so rather than toss and turn and wake up my 12hour shift working husband I decided to get up! Honestly..so much is running through my head! So much... The blessing of our friends and family who love us...and the children we bring home...the blessing of a job that allows for me to stay home with all of our kids....the wood that keeps our home warm on a day of 20 degree weather....and all that goes with adoption.... I think about the orphan all of the time... I think about God's Word...and what He calls us to do for not only the orphan, but for the widow and for the helpless and for each other! How can we make that alive in our house? How can we live that out in our lives? What is our personal role in this big beautiful family, Christ's Church?.... Speak to me Father! Please tell me what I am suppose to do!
I can say that in somewhat of a "big picture" I believe I know what I/we (Roger and Laurie) are suppose to do... we are some of those ordinary, previously unqualified people who God calls to adopt. The saying goes " God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called". At the Both Hands fundraiser/service project kickoff on Sunday, we were asked to share a bit of our adoption story. I can tell you that my husband lost sleep over the thought of speaking to this in front of people! I tried to encourage him all week.... he kept asking..."why can't you just speak"?.... I said, "because God is telling you to" Roger is a wise man... he is a deep thinking man...he is a sensitive man. But like most guys, he would rather keep that "stuff" to himself or share those moments with just me in the quiet of home. Well last Sunday that was not to be.... God clearly had other plans! Roger's biggest fear in public speaking, especially with regards to our adoption of Levi and pending adoption of David and Jonathan, was that he would get choked up and not be able to get the words out. That is exactly what happened. After a few times of pulling it together after high emotions... I took over. Not escaping that same depth of emotion. Roger said afterwards that he couldn't even remember what he said. Not surprising as we know the Holy Spirit interceded for us in our weakness! It is moments like this... when we come to the end of ourselves that God shines through the brightest! God had a message to share that day. He had people that needed to hear our story, not for us but for them. There were teenagers there. Parents there. Young children there. They all saw the rawness and vulnerability of a grown up man. A man who admits... it wasn't what I wanted to do! But stepped out in obedience and faith to what God had put before him. He was overcome with the emotions of a father for his son. He would be the same way for our other boys...and for David and Jonathan. AS our Father is overcome with love for each of us!
As we move forward in this next adoption journey I am more and more passionate about the plans of the Father for each and every one of the orphans out there! If you would have told me 6 months ago that I would be adopting twins with special needs... I would not have believed it. It just wasn't what we thought we would/could do. Both Roger and I said, well we could do minor correctable conditions...like heart stuff, clef palate...things surgery in our country would resolve. But what we didn't know was what God was already doing in our lives that would prepare us for this next journey.
See what allot of people don't know is what we have been doing with our Levi. He is an amazing little boy. Most people that meet him are amazed at how well adjusted he seems to be... it has been a year after all. But while on the outside he looks so together...we found out that on the inside...he was a mess. Last summer he started to share his life with us... in many ways. In the ways of attachment...in the ways of emotions, in the physical ways of hugs and kisses. But there was a part of his life that he tried so hard to keep hidden... so hard to keep a secret. Parts of his life that have been taken from him...that have been unfairly hurtful by people that should have protected him. Parts of his life that would be better off forgotten. But God is in the business of Redeeming Lives! In time since then Levi asked Jesus to be his rescuer! He loves Jesus and God and wants to know what heaven is like.... he is forever asking me when we will go there! (I think he really just wants to meet Samson and Jonah!) There have been long hard days! Lots of them..but along with that there have been days and years of his life Redeemed! His adoption was really his salvation.... He is a brave little boy who will one day I am sure, do great things for the Kingdom! God has equipped us to parent this little boy with things in us we didn't even know we had! Things that we know are only from Him!
Isaiah 42:6-8
“I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles,
7 to open eyes that are blind,
to free captives from prison
and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
8 “I am the Lord; that is my name!
I will not yield my glory to another
or my praise to idols.
I will not yield my glory to another
or my praise to idols.
So...... this is why. His life is why. Why we love those who are hard to love. Why we obey when it seems crazy. Why we take one step at a time when we are too scared to move at all! Why we love those who can't love us back sometimes. Really there are so many others like us who are just answering the call that He puts on their lives and hearts. Just saying yes. In return, we don't ask why. We don't need to. We can see the unspoken why in the eyes of those little ones. We can see the why in the smiles and even in the tears. To us, it is obvious as to the "why".
Our yes might not be your yes. We are not all capable or called to adopt...but we can all help others who are called. I think the most important thing is that you say yes to what or where He is calling you! And you won't ask why.... when others do! You will know!
So this is long.... but one last thing! PLEASE PLEASE take a little time to check out the links to some of the blogs I follow. There are some amazing stories that are shared. More families that are working to bring home some of these special ones.... and pray pray pray for them! Pray for those little lives to be redeemed! Not only over the oceans...but in our own neighborhoods and back yards!
Always learning to Settle In His Embrace,
laurie
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