It is hard to put into words how it felt to leave our boys. (I could say that it was very similar to how I felt just a week ago when we left our 3 boys here in America to go meet our new sons.) In my heart I was so sad to have to leave David and Jonathan behind. But at the same time, I have a "peace" about leaving them that gives me not only comfort for now but an assurance of what it is to come. I am 100% sure of where that peace comes from!
Philippians 4:6-8 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
I know that they are in a place, a home, where they are receiving the love, attention, nutrition, care and daily life that only a family can provide. The alternative would be them living this time out in an orphanage.
I am so thankful for God's provision in their lives. But there is something else I am thankful for this morning. I was reminded of the "time in the wilderness" that God allowed in my life just a few weeks ago. That time in my life was itself a "provision" for me from God. If you read my posts starting here or remember where my heart was during that time, you know it was a time where God called me to complete dependence on Him and Him alone. He took away comforts in my life that came from "knowledge", friends, guarantees on paper, all things from man. He took my well made plans and pretty much shredded them. Again, it was all to show me that He has every detail of this trip and of our lives covered to the smallest degree! Not only do we not "SEE" what He sees, we cannot even begin to have the "thoughts" of our Father! So in all of this, He brought me to a place of trusting only in Him, not man. A place of complete dependence on His goodness, grace and love for me and for all of our children! So for this too..... I am thankful!
My prayer of thanksgiving to Him...
Hebrews 10:21-23 NLT
And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
I want to thank you Father for the "wilderness" in my life! It is always so easy to write and share about answered prayers for those we love who are hurting..... for prayers and petitions that are granted in ways that make everyone smile. But this time I want to thank you Father for the hard time in my life. Without this time of trial and suffering and not understanding in my life, I would not know you more intimately than I did just a month ago! Your love for me surpasses all of the anxious and doubtful thoughts I have had. You know me so well. You know what stirs my heart in every way. Thank you that You allow me to endure conflict to bring me closer to you! As you have placed in my heart a desire for you, so too, you direct my life to bring that desire to life again and again. I am so thankful Father God that you don't just give us a "recommended daily allowance" of you and then wait awhile before you call us closer again. YOU use everything in our lives to draw us near to you! The good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the rejoicing and the mourning. All to give us the desires of our heart.... YOU. Thank you Father for the wilderness times in my life that always bring me to a place of beauty, peace and understanding of who you are and how you love me! Forgive me of my wavering and my anxious thoughts, instead would you continually deepen my understanding of you. I will share your goodness and love with everyone! Amen.
I see now what God wanted me to experience on this trip. I see now how mightily He used this trip to build trust and love into Levi's heart. A little boy who needed to know that people do not always leave and never come back. A little boy that needed to know that when his parents tell him they love him and they will be back, they mean it. They can be trusted! A huge revelation of love for both him and us! Seeing that little boy after 8 days without him, come into my arms and squeezing me like never before. I will never forget that squeeze and how it seemed to last for 10 minutes! I know God used this time in his life for his heart to heal and grow in love for us! Thank you Father!!
I pray that in my life I would remember this time of wilderness and rejoicing. That the next time, I would remain assured in the promises of our Father and not seek to understand that which I cannot. Instead, that I would be rooted in faith in the One who does all things well! That my thoughts would be fixed on what is right and true!
May you be encouraged in this and if you are experiencing a time of "wilderness" in your life right now, I pray that you will be able to be still before Him and allow Him to pour all that you need into you. Be it peace, understanding, comfort or the strength to endure and persevere, He will fill you with all that you need and at the right time, He will reveal all that you need to know and see!
In His Embrace,
laurie
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