My friends, adoption is redemption!
It is costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous.
Buying back lives costs so much
When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him
Derek Loux
I don't think I have shared too much about the battle that goes on in our home on a daily basis for our little guy Levi. I am not sure how to put this all into words so please forgive me if I use too many real words...too much description...or just plain too many words. Some will be hard to hear... but we have to speak in truth. We just have to.
For those who do not know his story I will give the short version. We brought Levi home in September of 2011! He is a amazing and handsome little boy. He was the most obedient and helpful little guy for a while after we got home. ( the honeymoon phase ) He didn't seem to be bonding with us....asking if he was going to live with friends or have another mommy and daddy. So we changed things up a bit to work on building a bond of attachment. After about 9 months home he started to share some of his past with us. What we know was that he was with a woman whose behavior seemed to be a bit "odd" and the police brought her and Levi to their office to give them food and shelter...her behavior got more strange and they took her into their custody.... she escaped leaving Levi behind. Thank you Jesus! This woman was not his birth mom. He never EVER has called her anything but "Elfray"... and when I would ask him "is she your mama" he would say very matter of fact, no. We don't know anything about his birth parents. The police took care of him for a few days and brought him to the orphanage and we got his referral...and we have loved him in our hearts ever since.
Before he came to America, Levi lived a life that most of us could not even begin to comprehend. We haven't even seen movies with the horrific scenes he has lived in "real life". He has suffered much at the hands of adults and other children.... people that should have protected him. He has been through unspeakable things. He has seen and experienced evil up close. Even while living in the place that should have been a sanctuary for him...a place of refuge, he met with more abuse. He has told of things and used words that NO 5yr. old should ever hear much less use. He just shouldn't even know these things. He asked questions about things that to him, were "normal". Things that most adults never even have to question in their lifetime. He spoke of the boy who was 7-8 years older than him and how he pursued Levi every. single. day. and. night. He told me that he doesn't like to sleep. Hhmmm.... I wonder why?..... He told me that he doesn't need parents. That he can take care of himself thank you very much! He can just go live in the "tall grass" and he will be fine. He seriously doesn't see what all the fuss is about with having to have adults be the boss of him! He never needed them before so why now. Sounds like a pretty smart and articulate little boy doesn't he. ( For those of us who love and care for children who come from hard places we translate smart and articulate into "aware" "survival skills" "doing what it takes to stay alive" and "knowing who you are dealing with")
Believe it or not, this revelation is good! While hearing all of the horrible stories and watching him describe events is really really hard, it is so good for this to come out. We have been working on this with him since last summer. We have seen God redeem this little boys life. Little by little he is overcoming all that has happened to him. Little by little he is reclaiming back those years of his life that were taken from him. Stolen from him. The innocence that was lost.... The first moments of the milestones of children from when they are just tiny tiny babies, to taking their first steps, their first funny words... All of that God is giving back to Levi! It is the day of reckoning for him! After all that he has been through....all that was taken from him.... he is redeemed!
We are working with a therapist who we LOVE. She has helped us work through so much with Levi. We work on attachment with this little boy who has NEVER known what love is. But before we can attach we have to weed out the person or persons in his life that have been the most influential to him. We work on trying to give him the years and experiences that he missed out on! And yes, we have had to look at some really disturbing realities. We have had to swallow hard when he tells us yet another story of perverse and horrendous abuse. We have had to do hard things. REALLY hard things. Things that would test the patience of anyone. Enduring fits of rage and fits of self hurting. Spiting, pinching, scratching....biting. Wrestling matches. Day after day.... then a reprieve. Then something else will come up and we start the work to bring what hides in the darkness into the light. We will not stand by in ignorance. We will not just look the other way. We do not speak of how well adjusted he is. We will not dump him into the culture of busyness and social activities that eat up childhoods in an effort to give him what most deem "a normal life". We miss many parties and family gatherings. We keep him close. We choose to fight! We choose to look the enemy square in the face and come on full steam! God is on our side. God has already won! We stand in the gap for this little boy. Everyday we are literally fighting for HIS LIFE. Some days I ask myself "did that really just happen? Did I just say that? Did he just do that? We are literally fighting the enemies of his past for that number one place in his life. We are willing to go to hell and back to save this little boy!
This little child of God. This child who is really only ours for a little while...all along he belongs to God. This once orphan........ now lives a life of freedom. Levi has a Savior! He has a rescuer! He has a heart that wants to do good and righteous things. He is the bravest little person I know! God has a plan for him...no doubt...he will be a mover and shaker!...but mostly a talker! He has lots to say! We pray for his birth parents. He prays that they know that he is ok and that they know Jesus! And the latest prayer request he makes if for his biggest abuser to stop hurting children. That he would change his life by knowing Jesus! How many of us as adults do this... every day!? He is special!
Love for Enemies Matthew 5:43-45
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
With every ounce of energy we fight the demons of his past... and we see victory! As God shows his power in Levi's life, we are only thankful to be his parents. We are not perfect. We don't always do it "right". We are not "special"...just equipped by God! As my dear friend A and K say, "No one would sign up to do what you do". Yes, it is hard work...It is intentional parenting every day....every minute. It is dying to self over and over again to do what needs to be done. Whatever they need no Matter What it takes! We will go to the ends of this earth for our children. Over and Over and Over again.
HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO...........
Joel 2:28-32
The Day of the Lord
28 “And afterward,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.
29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.
30 I will show wonders in the heavens
and on the earth,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.
31 The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
32 And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved;
for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem
there will be deliverance,
as the Lord has said,
even among the survivors
whom the Lord calls.
